Twenty-two of my thirty-two years in independent schools were spent in day schools, some very good and some fairly mediocre, but all of them had good students with dedicated teachers. Their debate teams did well; the football teams reigned supreme. Most went on to colleges and parents were fairly pleased with their investment. However, it wasn’t until I went to my first boarding school as an assistant headmaster that I realized that these are schools that take education to another level. And by that, I don’t mean that boarding schools are repositories for more advanced placement or honors classes, nor am I suggesting that the college placement was any better. All of those are features of schools that can be found anywhere. Where a school defines itself is where its soul is, and the soul of a boarding school lies in its development of a unique community of adults and students all living together; sharing a common purpose as defined by the mission of that school. Such schools are places that are not defined by the culture of the immediate surrounding community but by the multitude of experiences of their students, many of whom come from regions of the country and the world unknown to the average independent day or public school student. Boarding schools are places where students develop an appropriate sense of independence that all parents inherently wish for our children. Boarding schools, by their very nature, encourage and guide their students to learn to develop those emotional intelligence skills we often find so elusive in a seventeen year-old. 

How these schools do this is something that can only be discerned by walking the campus and spending time listening and observing. Doing so, one will find, for the most part, motivated students with a common purpose happily engaged in the lives of each other. Artificial barriers to understanding and acceptance tend to disappear; social cliques can be rare; and intellectual risks can be taken without fear. The possibilities for expanding the education of a child beyond the classroom are enormous. As an example, I often think of a boy who came to us some years back as a sophomore from a local public school. We soon found that he had an extraordinary voice, but his talent had been unrecognized by his school. Freshmen rarely get recognition for their talents in large schools, often because they are too fearful to even attempt to share their talent. Yet, he was auditioning for our school musical and, yes, he had an extraordinary voice. He went on to become the highlight of our entire theater program and is now on a full scholarship studying opera at a conservatory back East. I do not believe this would have happened had he not transferred to a boarding school like ours.

Imagine a place where your son or daughter rooms with a student from Malawi or Kiev. Imagine students with a range of religious backgrounds living in the same hall together. If we have learned anything of the events of this new century, it is that the days of cultural isolation are over - we are all so interconnected.  It is inevitable that our children, when they become adults, will be faced with a completely different kind of world - a world that requires a different sort of individual. I am not certain children can learn that worldview without venturing beyond the block they live on. Boarding school students experience the world through classmates and teachers who come from cultures and places different from their own. They are poised for success in the new, global environment. Experience a boarding school and you will understand.

As an independent school educator of some thirty-plus years and a director of admission at a number of highly-selective independent schools for twenty-two of those years, I must admit that I am becoming increasing concerned about the overuse of the term “gifted child.” Now, as a disclaimer, I believe profoundly that every child has a gift for something and that those gifts are often overlooked in large or small schools. And no, I am not talking about that hard-working A’s-all-the-time, terrific test taker. We all have them; we all identify them easily; and, of course, we love them as much as we love all our students. But, I am seeing so many applicants whose resumes list Gifted and Talent Education (GATE) programs or participation in the one of the many programs designed for the “high-performing student” that I am beginning to wonder who is not “gifted.” Many of these students are happily spending their summers studying forensics, psychology, writing, economics and I applaud those interests.  It sure has to be better than spending the summer locked in front of the newest version of World of Warcraft. But there are so many of these programs and the vast majority use your typical battery of standardized tests to identify such students; the result of which is that now we have seventh graders taking some version of the SAT and that is implicitly encouraging parents to prepare sixth grade students for the SAT. Oh, to be in the SAT prep business today! And how very sad this is all becoming. Just the other day, I had a young parent ask me if I would accept her child’s SAT results in place of our typical standardized assessment test for admission. “And what grade is she in, may I ask?” “Well, she’s gifted, you know, and she took the SAT in grade 7.” “How do you know she’s ‘gifted’?” “Well, look at her test scores.”

Some years back, I had the privilege of working as the director of admission for a school whose entire focus was the truly exceptional (we call them “highly capable”) learner. I was simply captivated by these remarkable students, for how one captures their attention and imagination goes well beyond what I am seeing in many a school’s classrooms. These are the children that learn in a completely different way from most children. Their minds are working in overdrive and everything seems a world of wonder.  Placed in your standard “I teach you; you learn” environment, they either explicitly rebel or check out. They might see solutions to math problems completely outside the norm. Some have extraordinary individual talents (I am thinking of the boy I took to the National Geographic Geography Bee finals in 2001. He won.); some have extraordinary verbal skills. What they have in common is that they are such uncommon learners and I believe they are among the most misunderstood and poorly served in educational institutions where standardized tests, SAT results, and registration in AP courses are used to determine what many believe defines a “gifted” student.   It is not so.

During my interviews I can pick out the child of which I am writing. I am thinking of a boy - let’s call him Joseph - who sat in my office and could talk about whatever esoteric subject came to mind. During those thirty minutes we explored black holes and the possibility that if the Big Bang means the universe started from nothing, then nothing must be something. We analyzed the meaning of the word “should” and engaged in solving a physics problem of motion. He was a talented animator and designer of computer games but he never played them. His head was full of ideas; his room full of books. On paper?  A “B” student. He didn’t turn in his work as, for many of these children, the homework we demand is pretty much mindless and I would agree. This is not the kind of student who can sit quietly solving the odd-number problems in the back of the algebra text. Most likely, he knows the material without expending much intellectual energy. Answer the questions in the back of chapter four of A Survey of World Literature? I don’t think so. The result? Well, instead of attempting to discern what this student really knows or can demonstrate mastery of, he gets a “C” since 40% of his grade is mindless homework. So, he disappears to the middle of the classroom, unnoticed and certainly forgotten in big schools. He doesn’t bother anyone and is never encouraged except for the rare instance that a special teacher opens her eyes and reaches out. She notes the student who confounds her with his questions that seem to come out of nowhere and whose verbal dexterity can only be matched by his remarkable insights no matter how seemingly inane. I know because I worked with such students like Bert, all of 10 years old, who assisted me on a tour of the school with a father, an engineer. Upon viewing a class where algebraic solutions were scattered across the board (this was fifth grade), the engineer suggested an alternative solution to the problem. “No”, remarked Bert. “That would be wrong. Let me show you why.” He was right. I can still see that father’s eyes. Bert and all his classmates used to call all teachers and administrators by their first name. “Hi, Leo.” It would only work there. I just loved the place because everything was so very different from what I was used to. And we had waiting lists. 

I always worried for these children because after they graduated from grade 8, there really were no schools for them. Yes, of course, there were the schools hyping IB programs or their lists of AP courses and, horror of horrors, universities that purported to “accelerate” these children bypassing any notion that developmentally they were still only fourteen years old. What’s the rush? I wonder. But IB/AP does not necessarily address the needs of the truly exceptional, highly capable learner. There are few schools that are addressing their needs and certainly not in the public sector. The task is left typically to that special teacher of whom I remark; and given the size of their classes and the independence from state mandated standards, I believe many independent schools, particularly boarding schools, are well-suited to address the needs of such students.

Teenagers want to be known, and once known they do remarkable things. Imagine then if that highly capable child who possibly does not understand his talents or gifts – they seem too natural – is identified in a caring community such as we have in boarding schools. The possibilities for that child are enormous. I love seeing these students on my campus and I can tell stories about every one of them. And I can do so because they seem to thrive in the intellectual freedom provided by schools like ours. When you sit around a table with fifteen students and engage in a Socratic dialogue about Robert Frost’s take on the American Dream, or take your students on a field trip to the Utah wilderness to search for a newly identified miniature T. Rex, you open the possibility for such students to reveal themselves.  It is when you let them stretch their minds without the burden of meeting arbitrary rubrics for success that the highly capable child begins to see that the world has meaning for him or her. And when we teachers hear them think, it is something to behold.

When fielding questions from a caller inquiring about our school, it is inevitable that I get, “So, where can I find your ranking among other boarding schools?” Happens all the time. Much to their dismay, I have to tell them that there is no such thing, and happily so. Yes, there have been multiple attempts by various publications hoping to score readers a la U.S News and World Reports College Rankings by getting our independent schools to participate in such studies; but, guided by such organizations as the National Association of Independent Schools, we have rigorously resisted the temptation to jump in.

And why, do you say? What do you all have to hide? Well, of course, nothing. You can learn all about us by visiting our websites, walking our campuses and drawing your own comparisons. But the notion that you can lump all our schools into one pot and then ascribe what are never exacting standards supposedly vetted by the most rigorous research misses the whole point of why our schools exist in the first place. Every independent school was founded on a vision of what education can be or should be for children. Founders of various boarding schools, like our own Thompson Webb, did so because they developed a belief system about the appropriate ends of education and founded a school to put those ideas into place. They did not do so to “compete” with the other boarding or public school down the road. They did not do so to see if their students could get that elusive edge in the college admission process. In the case of The Webb Schools, Mr. Webb was firm in his belief about developing “young men of honor” and that alone has guided our ideas about education for both our boys and girls (Webb, founded in 1922, added a girls’ school in 1981). 

The basic problem with rankings, besides their questionable methodology for collecting data (e.g., College Rankings still depends on colleges self-reporting), is that they create for the less discerning parent a seemingly easy way to make what may be the most important decision of parenthood. Why do the hard work of research when I can open a book, look at a list, find #1 or 2, and apply my child to that school? In addition, they often propose that a particular characteristic of education is most important in defining whether it’s a quality school or not.  My favorite such survey is the one used by a prominent magazine that ranks public schools by taking the number of AP/IB exams written and dividing by the number of graduates.  Supposedly, such data tells us that these are schools with the best programs, but the survey does not report the average test AP/IB test results from these programs because the researcher was afraid the reporting schools would artificially inflate those grades by allowing only the top students to take the tests. O.K., I get his point, but then, what does it matter if the school jams forty students into an AP U.S. History class?  The fact that forty students simply write the exam makes it a quality program?  In defense of the researcher, he admits that evaluating other aspects of a school (e.g. quality of extra-curricular programs – vital to a child’s education) defies statistical analysis.   Ah….that’s my point!

Schools are not a population of automatons who take challenging courses and write exacting exams. Schools should be places where learning transcends standardization; where each child is inspired to learn today and wants to learn more tomorrow. They have classrooms where students ask questions and ponder new ideas and where teachers are coaches, not just givers of knowledge. They are places where every child finds his/her place in the sun; where they are encouraged to stretch; and where as Brown’s Theodore Sizer once wrote, students become “informed skeptics.”  In short, every child has a school in his heart and mind. The joy of independent schools, then, is their essence. They are “independent” and are designed not to appeal to every child’s learning needs, but to have a place for every child who believes it’s the right school for them. And this is where the hard work of searching for schools begins for parents.

It requires thinking through the goals that parents have for their child’s education. Hopefully, this goes deeper than simply getting their child into the celebrity college of their choice (My favorite comment to parents by our head of school recently was, “Remember, there are over 3,000 universities out there, not ten.”). It requires them to research a number of schools, to visit their campuses, and to ask tough questions about the school’s philosophy for classroom teaching or the “why” of its curriculum.  Why does the school embrace the Advanced Courses it does, for example? Is it because the school believes that teaching AP European History is the best way to present that discipline or is it because the school’s parents have demanded more AP’s from the school? And what about the whole issue of character development? What does the school think about the development of emotional intelligence? All of these can be tough questions that every school must be able to answer. From all of this, parents can begin to envision – or not – their child at that school.  

Yes, by all means, collect the hard data: test scores, college placement, student-teacher ratio; but, in the end, it’s all about inspiration. An inspired child turns the world on its head. Cold data tells us nothing about how the school expects to achieve that goal; but so many independent schools can do just that, and they don’t need every child to take an Advanced Placement course or receive an International Baccalaureate degree to accomplish that goal. 

Thirty years ago, my mother and father and I arrived at a school a lot like Webb in the foothills of western Connecticut.  We had traveled from my hometown of Coronado CA, and as you can imagine, I was in a bit of culture shock.  I remember that electrifying, and frightening day well, as it was the first time I saw my own parents struggle to keep their emotions together.  Once I met some other kids, found out where my dorm room was, and began to get involved in numerous orientation activities, I was fine (though it took some time).

Though I struggled in school at times, I had a fantastic experience overall, and therefore became passionate about the type of transformation a school like this can have on a student.  This is why I’m here, and this is why I’ve been here for over 2 decades – because I truly believe that this school transforms girls and boys into women and men of character, adults who are intelligent, compassionate, independent thinkers and learners who go on to lead fulfilling lives both personally and professionally.   

Like me and my family back in the late 1970’s, you are also in the throes of significant change.  Whether you are a boarding parent or day, a new parent or returning, the first few weeks at a boarding school are a rich mixture of excitement and emotion.  Sometimes we forget that we, as parents, are going through as much transition as our kids are, and it’s important to know that there is a network of parents on which to draw for strength, perspective, experiences and even humor. 

And so my message today is to have faith.  Please know that your child is in a caring, nurturing environment with adults who will care for them, and who have extensive experience working in this type of environment.  Your son or daughter will come to know them as teachers, coaches, advisors, dorm parents, and friends. 

Your role as parent of either a day or boarding student is critical to their educational journey.  We ask that you encourage your child to gain the most out of his or her time here.  Remind them from time to time to take risks, to take full advantage of our program, to go on a Peccary Trip with the museum, to go out for that sport or debate, or to try out for the play.  Of course, we will be encouraging them on this end as well, but your support and enthusiasm for the program is essential.  Another way you can be helpful is to let us know important information that is relevant to their adjustment here.  You’ll soon be meeting your child’s advisor.  This person will be your primary point of contact with the school, and it is important that he or she has any and all information that will help make this transition seamless.  And finally, you can be the greatest asset to your child by letting go a bit, and allowing this school do what it has been doing incredibly well for over 85 years.  

Your child will not always succeed, and not always have fun.  This is a challenging environment, both from an academic and a time management perspective, and it is important to know that your son or daughter is growing as a result of every one of these experiences – big and small.  Of course, we want to hear from you if you sense something is wrong or if you have a question, and certainly if hear something that is important for us to know.  But please know that we are closely monitoring each student’s progression and development, both as scholars and as people, and the only way someone can learn and grow is to be given the freedom to feel that they are in charge, so that they assume real responsibility.  This cannot happen if parents prevent it, and I ask that you consider that line between being helpful, and being too present, thereby preventing this most important education to take place.